Finding a moment when you have become fully present is a precious thing. Finding something that keeps bringing you back to these present experiences is golden. We've all had the experience of dropping into a zone where the internal commentary stops and focus becomes vivid. This happens when walking, exercising, reading, making or listening to music, practicing art, and creating haiku.
Haiku is a structured Japanese form of writing what looks like poems. These traditionally are three lines and follow a 5-7-5 syllable format.
> Haiku seizes the moment of inexplicable depth. They seek an expression out of time, beyond before and after. They look for the place where life deepens and suddenly the universe is present in the lighting of one candle. [^1]
Lighting one candle
With another candle;
An evening of spring.
Buson
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Here I'll show how I developed a haiku. It starts with 2 subjects, breath and stars, and has the theme of movement. The stars are a distraction from the main topic, which is the movement of breath. I try to use "Look!" as a sleight of hand to startle the reader into a sudden shift in focus. The theme feels overstated, and a bit forced. The coming/going and here/there are redundant here. I could have used up/down, in/out, before/after. The breath and the stars got dropped, and the theme morphs into a presentation of randomness.
It ends unified with one subject, the butterfly. Everything in the haiku is about the butterfly and supports the presentation of randomness. It creates a picture of the butterfly without having to have a photograph.
Coming and going
v.1
Coming and going,
breath moves here and there.
LOOK! A shooting star.
v.2
This way and that way,
spring breezes blow here and there.
LOOK! A shooting star.
v.3
Butterfly
Flutters this way and that way.
without a sound.
v.4
Butterfly fluttering
here and there in the spring breeze,
without a sound.
v.5
Butterfly fluttering
in still air, here and there
without a sound.
v.6
Butterfly fluttering;
a drunkard weaving here and there
without a sound.
References
[^1]: Reginald Horace Blyth (1952): Haiku, Tōkyō: Hokuseido, p.116
Other stuff I've written on this topic
This post is meant to help us renew our commitment to caring for the world and remind our future selves to be fractionally better than before. This post points to where I want to work on my mental fitness and 'adulting.'. It is a reminder to operate in the world with love and compassion and includes tips put together in moments of clarity to help when caught up in the world's uncontrollable chaos. Please, continue the conversation anytime: will@kestrelcreek.com.
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31/31 Challenge
- Dec 31, 2020 Imitating Superman Dec 31, 2020
- Dec 30, 2020 What Would You Tell Your Twenty-Something Self Dec 30, 2020
- Dec 29, 2020 Lucky Dec 29, 2020
- Dec 28, 2020 See looks beautiful Dec 28, 2020
- Dec 27, 2020 Kinship Dec 27, 2020
- Dec 26, 2020 The big round dog bed Dec 26, 2020
- Dec 25, 2020 Smiling Meditation Dec 25, 2020
- Dec 24, 2020 A Smiling Experiment Dec 24, 2020
- Dec 23, 2020 Walk Time! Smell Time! Dec 23, 2020
- Dec 22, 2020 Ask yourself these questions. Dec 22, 2020
- Dec 21, 2020 We short change our own lives through inattention Dec 21, 2020
- Dec 20, 2020 When death comes Dec 20, 2020
- Dec 19, 2020 More noticing Dec 19, 2020
- Dec 18, 2020 Nurture Noticing Dec 18, 2020
- Dec 17, 2020 Inexplicable Depth Dec 17, 2020
- Dec 16, 2020 Walking is thinking Dec 16, 2020
- Dec 15, 2020 Writing on thin air Dec 15, 2020
- Dec 14, 2020 Iterate through failure Dec 14, 2020
- Dec 13, 2020 Writing is the technology of thinking Dec 13, 2020
- Dec 12, 2020 Attentional Autonomy Dec 12, 2020
- Dec 11, 2020 A sence of place Dec 11, 2020
- Dec 10, 2020 Your smile spreads happiness Dec 10, 2020
- Dec 9, 2020 Hupomnemata/Zettelkasten Dec 9, 2020
- Dec 8, 2020 Quietude Dec 8, 2020
- Dec 7, 2020 Attention Strength Training Dec 7, 2020
- Dec 6, 2020 You are what you do Dec 6, 2020
- Dec 5, 2020 Tiny moments for gratitude expression Dec 5, 2020
- Dec 4, 2020 Life is but a dream Dec 4, 2020
- Dec 3, 2020 Falling in Love Dec 3, 2020
- Dec 2, 2020 To whom do I report the theft... Dec 2, 2020
- Dec 1, 2020 Getting Started Dec 1, 2020